If there were such a thing as aliens and they were examining us, they'd say something like this:
Why don't those human beings say, "I don't know." They know they don't know.
Why do they get upset that they don't know? They can't know until they do.
Until we try this or that as a parenting possibility for peace, we have no way of knowing what works - and all kinds of experience with what doesn't. Let's face it, when kids arrive, we don't know. When they act out, we don't know. Even when they agree with us, we still don't know if we're right.
Good words to add to a parenting vocabulary: I'm not sure what to do right now. I don't know what to do right now. I want to do what's best for all of us. I need a minute (Suzi Lula's famous plan for clear thinking!).
When these words become part of your life, the pressure starts to disappear and the wound-up energy sizzles out (which is the best thing for wound-up energy to do), otherwise, it's like a tornado that takes kids innocence as its casualties.
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Peaceful parenting...it's possible.