I know I've said this before, but have you tried it?
Sometimes the best thing to do while your child is freaking out is nothing. The child has to stop sometime, but while you're waiting, why not do something helpful for yourself: like Kegel's, or reciting sports stats in your head. Remember to smile at people passing by giving you the "I've been there look." Smile because you know they don't know this trick.
Getting yourself all worked up won't help you or them. Kegel's and sports stats - very helpful for the body and mind. It's not that you don't care about the child, but think about it, if you're in an upset state, it's got so much energy behind it, it can take a few minutes to blow itself out. It doesn't just stop, no matter how much we wish it would. If our children are in a state, they will also exhaust the crazy energy they've worked up so there's no sense doing anything except helping yourself.
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Peaceful parenting...it's possible.