But, how to come from our heart in the middle of upsets?
The quickest way is to remind ourselves that we are mortal (as taught by Sadhguru) and remind ourselves that we don't really know if either of us are going to die today, tomorrow or next week. This is not to BE morbid, it's just to face facts and bring us back to the reality that we live with (and ignore). On our deathbed, we are going to want to feel nothing but love. Why wait? The only really important thing in this whole life is to be in a state of love. Think about how much you love to be around naturally loving and joyful people. They'd like if we were, too.
Important: We are not to dwell on death, but a reminder about death can bring a lot of what really matters and is really true back into us.
Some other strategies to use to come from the heart are:
Err on the the side of compassion. It feels better for you and everyone else.
Err on the side of kindness. Don't you wish your parents had been kind to you in troubling times? Don't you wish others would be kind to you even now when troubling times come?
Ask your kids and others if they will talk to you and put your judge on hold and listen.
Learn, teach your kids, and share with others - self-inquiry - the simple path back to their own True Nature where they get to experience nothing wrong, love for no reason, gratitude for being alive, and heart-felt/heart-based living. Self-inquiry is the best tool for coming back to and coming from the heart.
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Peaceful parenting...it's possible.
PS can you see the heart in the picture of rocks? No matter how hard the heart has become, it's waiting to be cracked open and celebrated! xo