Perfection (from our mixed up mind) is a made-up, stress-inducing expectation that can't be met, ever.
We think about the perfect child, perfect car, the perfect house, the perfect job, the perfect friend, the perfect partner, perfect holiday, perfect meal, etc. - notice how each 'perfection' somehow falls apart, even if it's just a little bit.
Have you ever met and maintained perfection in anything? That's how you know it's not worth striving towards. It's a made-up illusion.
What we really want is a mind that doesn't find imperfection everywhere.
If we have an expectation, we set ourselves up for disappointment and self-sabotage. As soon as we expect something (the perfect child), we automatically set up our own disappointment. We want something out of the child that doesn't exist.
We want something out of our children that we can't even meet ourselves: perfect behaviour. How about we flip a switch right now and teach ourselves a new perspective:
"Kids need guiding, and, so do I. I'll do my best to guide us both. I won't see them as bad. I'll see them, and, me as finding our way to blossoming. I'll wipe 'good' and 'bad' out of my vocabulary and just see what happens."
Kids never look for perfection: they are curious about whatever is in front of them.
Kids never look for perfection: look at one of their artistic creations (they happily colour outside of the lines and stick the nose on the ear!).
Kids never look for perfection: give them a stick or a rock or a cardboard box and whatever comes from it pleases them to no end.
No end to their pleasure.
No perfection, and no end to their pleasure. We can learn so much from kids.
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Peaceful parenting...it's possible.