My dad is 94 this year and still teaching me lessons.
He often says, no matter what's going on, whether the toast is soggy or burnt, "It's just the way I like it."
I could never understand how that could be possible? Aren't we meant to complain and rail against what we say we don't like?
Awhile back he made it more clear to me. "If we accept what's going on we're happy. If we don't accept life, we suffer." The next opportunity I had, I tried it and felt immediate joy. (Try it today and see what happens - accept what the other is doing that you don't like).
What's going on is going on anyway, whether we like it or not. It's easier to accept that people will behave like they do, say what they say and think what they think - than to argue or get upset about what's going on. It doesn't mean we agree or have to do what they say.
The other day one of my granddaughters was behaving like a kid sometimes does and was picking on her sister (loudly). My other granddaughter started to cry and said, "Grama, she's being rude to me." Anytime one makes an accusation, all of us stop what we're doing and take the opportunity to do our own inner work and find where 'I am That' - which, incidentally, subdues the nasty energy as soon as it's turned inward - and the atmosphere becomes more gentle. (Try it and see for yourself. If you need some help with it, come on to one of the Self-healing Group Calls.) After we did the work and found times where we all rude, I said to her, "Honey, what does her being rude have to do with you. If we feel upset, we do our own work, and after that, the other's rudeness is about them." She smiled her precious toothless smile, said, "Really?" and I nodded and she cuddled into my side. The other one wasn't very happy that I acknowledged her rude behaviour in that way and gave a me a full-face frown; just what I expected. I told her she could behave rudely if that's what she wanted. It would have consequences for her, but it's her choice. She thought for a minute and said, "I don't want to be rude." Then she cuddled into the other side of me. All was right with the world once again.
I will never forget sitting in a class with Byron Katie when she said, "If someone wants to get away from you, give them rollerblades." Who would want someone around them that didn't want to be around them, anyway, yet we are usually upset if someone dumps us.
Yup, my dad was teaching me a valuable lesson and it took me a whole lifetime to begin to learn it.
Accept what others want - they will figure it out. It's their right to behave how they do. It's your responsibility to see where you are that and then keep yourself in the way you want.
Yours in waking up,
Author, The Kid Code