'Sshhhh' Yourself

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Setting Clear Peaceful Boundaries

Suzi Kesler Lula, an expert in self-care, and an author on the subject, teaches these simple steps to setting boundaries: 1. Analyze your boundary setting style: mine is Godzilla! I even scare me. Once I did this process, I realized that I'm awfully demanding about my boundaries because I think they'll keep me safe, but they never have. That meant I had to change something. This process was it. Don't judge your style, just notice it. Notice if you set boundaries like they were set in your family of origin. Notice if they work. 2. Get really clear about your need. Sit quietly and ponder your issue before you set a boundary. If you are clear you will be able to be calm and sure about y

Losing Your Cool Doesn't Feel Cool

The other day I got grumpy when my grandkids were complaining about one of the other kids 'touching' their Halloween candy. I reminded myself that no one can make me feel - all my feelings originate and end right here inside of me, so I took myself off to see what my problem was. I know, from years of self-inquiry, that if I see a problem, I'm it. It is possible to be calm when the other is not - they are never in charge of our state of being - we are. Wanting the other to be responsible for my inner freedom is insanity, irresponsible and can not work! What I found, when I sat quietly and asked the question, "What did I really want in that moment when the kids were upset?" I wanted to not be

30 Second Parenting Strategies

I know how awful it feels to punish a child. I truly hope that I never do it again. This strategy has helped me and it will work for anyone who can sit quietly for a few minutes and wait for an answer to the question you are invited to ask yourself before punishing a child. When you look inside, the 'charge' that is behind the urge to punish disappears, and natural compassion appears. It also leaves you more clear-headed to know what action would be right for you to take, if any. This brilliant strategy comes from the work of Suzi Kesler Lula, an expert in Self-Care (I just took one of her classes and would highly recommend them!) who teaches the simple idea of taking a moment instead of rea

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Waking Up With Brenda © 2018 by Brenda Miller